Starting Life

by Takaomi Miyamaru

One day, I woke up at a hotel. There was the smell of cigarette. There was a women next to me, but I don't know her name. She was sleeping well, I couldn't remember where I met her. Recently, It's became a usual pattern, and I couldn't count how many people I made love. Make love? Can I make love? I didn't know whether it is love or not love. What is love, I didn't know. I wrote the memo, "I could spend precious time with you good to see you, thank you. Good bye." I put it next to her, and got away from the room. It's 4 o'clock, I looked up sky, there are very beautiful star like jewel. I always like things which I have my way, on the other hand, I hate things which I couldn't have my way. I know I'm selfish, but it's me, I can't fix myself.

Next day, I met a friend at a café on the street, an old friend of mine, from high school. Sometimes we talk about a lot of things. I said to him

--Hi, Jack! Long time no see! How are you?--

He said,

--Hey, David! I'm fine! You look little tired are you OK?--

I said,

--Ha! I'm always tired, recently, I think too hard, That's bad isn't it?--

he said,

--You have these mind I know. What happen to you? Do you have problem?--

I drunk coffee, and asked him,

--Jack, how is going with your girlfriend? How long?--

He answered with little smile,

--You always don't say yourself, but it's OK... I prepare myself when you want to say anything to me.... My girlfriend? Of course we are still together, we have spend for 3 years since we are high school students. Oh, recently we went for a drive, it's very funny, we don't think about gasoline, so we can't go far away, and she say....--

He spoke in very happy, I pretended to listen, to tell the truth I don't listen his story, because It's not related to me, but I like this time, I was happy when I' m with him, because I feel easy, I don't think myself, and I don't think deeply many things. I could run away from any trouble things. At the moment, I notice he looked me, and he said --Are you listening? You're always same! Hahaha, but it's OK! By the way, do you have a girlfriend? Oh, are you still with Jessica? She was so beautiful. Everyone loved her, when you got her, almost all of us hated you! Do you know that?--

I answered,

--Oh, Jessica? I don't know what she is doing now, yeah we broke up.--

Jack said with a cold face,

--Did you love her?--

I was thinking just seconds, and said to him,

--Ummm, I don't now, maybe I did love to her, but after we broke up, I think. I just wanted to get her, because everyone wants her, It's like people want to get trendy fashion... maybe It's not love.--

Jack said to me,

--I thought you don't have love to her when you and her became couple. I think that you make girlfriend for making your identity, so If your lover become no meaning to you, you throw away like garbage isn't it?--

I feel something to my hart,

--Oh, you say very strict things. I can't stop crying.--

I moved my hand to my eyes, and pretend to crying. He said, --I know you don't, ha ha ha, OK, tell me about your latest lover, you have one, right?--

I talked about me, he just listen to me, after that he said to me,

--Wow you are so young! Ha Ha Ha, how many girls you make cry! You are a playboy! Are you OK? What about venereal disease? Maybe you have AIDS!--

He said it easily, to tell the truth, It's one worry about me. I said to him with smile,

--Your' kidding! It's serious for me.--

He said to me,

--Would you go to test of AIDS, recently, my friend held this kind of event.--

He give me a paper, It's about event of AIDS, It said that you can check it for free. I said to him,

--No way, If I find the AIDS, I will be shocked, and can't live any more.--

Jack said to me,

--Don't worry, now most people who have AIDS can live like ordinary people, if you take medicine. I want introduce my friend to you, do let's go to there!--

I said to him,

--Your friend? Is she beautiful, oh a woman?--

He said with evil smile,

--Year she is so beautiful, maybe you like her.--

After this, we talk about something else, and say goodbye.

I woke up in a dirty room, it's my room. I prepared to go to university. My mother came to my room, and said to me, --Are you wake up, there is breakfast! Eat it.--

I went to kitchen, and ate some bread, and talked a little with my mother. I think that my family is very ordinary family; I have mother and father. I'm a single child. We don't have a lot of money, but it enough for us to live ordinal life. I said to her,

--Oh, It's time to go!!--

My mother said to me,

--Do your best!

I arrived at university, and went to locker, and there was my friend Melissa, she was only one friend of girl, we knew each other from junior high school.

--Hey, Melissa, what's up?

--Good morning David! Oh, today, you're not with girl? It's rare!

--Oh, it's funny, how about you? Do you have boyfriend now?

--No way, of cause I don't have!

I said to her with evil smile,

--If you want, I can date with you

--No kidding!! Don't say joke! Oh, I have present for you.

She gave me a paper, there are some pictures. I said,

--Ummm? Oh, Examination of AIDS for free? Jack also said same thing.

--Yes, I'm member of charity of this. You should check your blood! If you come this even, I treat some drink!

--Ummm, I'm thinking, maybe I'm free on this day.

She said quickly,

--Oh, Free!! So you must come, OK, It's kind of date isn't it?

I said to her,

--Ummmm, maybe OK!

She said,

--Thank you, see you this week end!

On Saturday, I went to campaign which Melissa's group held, I went to tent, there were a lot of people, many people take test of AIDS, I don't image like this. There are very open space, suddenly, a woman's voice came to my ear,

--Hi David! Thank you for coming! It's present to you She gave me a red ribbon,

--What is it?

She answered,

--It's symbol of AIDS campaign. Come with me!

She take me to the tent, and introduce a doctor,

--Hi, I'll check your blood, May I check this test? I need your approval.

I answered,

-- Of course! Please check it !

I take a test without thinking, and he take some blood, and said to me,

--Finish, result of test will give you after two days.

I said to him,

--Do I have to go again?

He said to me,

--Which you want! If you want mailing, please write your address.

I said to him,

--Oh, I will back here.

After this test, I talked Melissa about AIDS, after that we drink some coffee and talk about school life, It's very good time for me, maybe Melissa is only one girl friend which I can talk easily and feel comfortable.

After two day's I went to campaign of AIDS again, and met same doctor, he said to me,

--Hi David, how are you?

I answered with smile,

--To tell the truth, I'm worry about my blood, I can't sleep well these days.

Doctor said to me,

--Oh, Are you OK? Everyone like this, and this is your result.

He give me a paper, I open it,

There are words, it said,


I can't say any words, and feel cold, maybe my face become white. Doctor said to me,

--You have HIV, Don't worry, recently, almost patients don't die early, if you take right cure. Let's fight with HIV with us, please come my hospital, and take examination.

I said to him,

--Thank you...--

I get out from the tent, and walk slowly, I can't stand, and feel nausea,

--Hi David! How are you?

Mellissa said to me with smile, I said to her,

--How are you?? Ha!! I was fine before the test!! I didn't want to know, I have AIDS!!

Her face become sad, and she said to me,

--Oh, David, I'm sorry, but don't worry, I'll support you. Can I do anything for you?

I said to her,

--Just say Good bye.

I walked quickly, back to my house,

There was my mother,

I didn't say anything, and go to my room, and go to bed. There was a knock, it's my mother's voice,

--May I come in? what's the matter, you look very serious. She enter my room, I gave her that paper, and she was crying, and said to me,

--Why did you have AIDS!! You play with many girl!

I said to her with loud voice,

--I don't know!! Get away!!

She got away from my room.

After that, I can't stop crying, and thinking girls who I slept with, but I can't remember exactly. I can't sleep.

Next day, I went to school, to tell the truth, I didn't want to go to school, but my house has become an uncomfortable place for me. When I arrived the school, I feel others looking at me. Maybe I became look very nervous, so everyone knows that I have AIDS. In cafeteria, some students talking, I felt that everyone was ignor me. Then, Mellissa came up to me,

"Hi, how are you David?"

She talked to me like nothing had happened. I said to her,

"Hi, not bad..." I moved my eyes to the floor, She said, "I'm so thirsty! Oh, give me your drink!! OK?"

I was surprised, and said to her,

"Oh, of course..."

"Thank you ! what's the matter? Did I say strange thing?"

I said to her,

"Umm, you know I have AIDS, but you don't care about my drink, if you drink it, you will have AIDS..."

She opened her eyes loudly, and said to me,

"Oh! You kidding! You can't get HIV that easily... You are very nervous. OK, let's talk, after school." She said very kindly, I became well more.

I couldn't wait for the end of school, so I was a flutter.

Then, the bell rang. I went to the cafeteria quickly. Mellissa was there.

--Hi, thank you for coming.

She answered,

--Don't worry. I want to talk with you.

She said kindly,

--First, you have HIV virus, but it was found early, so if you can take right cure, you can live like people who don't have HIV. You worry about infection, right? But the HIV Virus is not catch easily, so you can spend an ordinal my life. Some people don't have right knowledge about AIDS, so they are misunderstanding.

I said to her,

--Oh, Jack said the same things, but I didn't listen carefully, because I wasn't interested. Why you do campaign of our AIDS?

She said with sad face,

--To tell the truth, my cousin had AIDS... I liked her very much, we were best friend, we talked each other. When she got AIDS, I didn't know much, so I often ignored her. And also, She was bullied by other students, and she killed herself. I had regret, and crying. I can't do anything for her. So I decided to know more about! This is for her, and also comfort for myself.

I was crying, and I couldn't say anything,

She said to me with big smile,

--Don't worry. I want to support you.

I feel like that I can take away my heavy something.

We talk a lot about school life, our life, anything. I feel something was changed by her.

I went to my house, then there are my parents, My mother smiled at me, and said,

--David, we always your parents, don't worry. Let's fight against AIDS, we'll support you. Sorry for yesterday, I was upset.

My father said to me,

--I've done some research about AIDS, so don't worry, I love you.

I felt very comfortable, and said to them,

--Thank you, I love you too.

We had a good time at dinner, and talked a lot , there were even some joke, and smile.

I went to my room, and thinking about Mellissa, I feel something for her. I haven't think women deeply, like now. My hart was beating. I thought is it love? Usually, I approach easily when I love some girls, but now I can't say, because I think that I won't break relationship with her, and she became special for me. At last, I can get real love, but I can't, I don't have confidence.

The Next day, I met Jack, and talked about AIDS.

He said to me,

--Oh, thank you for coming out to me, I'm very happy, because you said it yourself. We are best friends.

I was very happy, because he contact with me naturally, He was a good friend. I talked about my feeling about Mellissa, he said with smile,

--Mellissa? I see, I have good news about Mellissa and you.

I asked him,


He said with an evil smile,

--I won't tell you....

I said with loud voice,

--Don't be silly, please.

He said slowly,

--You know I'm also friend with Mellissa, sometimes we talks about you, and she said...

I want to know quickly,

--She said what!?

--She has loved you since you were a junior high school student.

He said it, I can't move, and saying.


He said,

--You should tell her your feeling, maybe she will be happy.

I said to him,


He said to me,

--Don't worry, It's true love, you always looking for.

I said to him,

--Thank you Jack, you're my best friend.

He said to me,

--Of course.

The Next day, I went to Mellissa's house. I knocked on the door, and she came,

--Hi David, what's the matter? Come in.

I felt very nervous, and said to her,

--Where your parents?

--Oh, they are working now.

She gave me a cup of tea,

--So, what's up, David?

--Oh, everything all right, My parents and Jack also understand me.

--Oh, great! I'm happy to hear about it, and you have other question?

I said,

--Umm, I have something I want to tell you.

--Thank you? Oh, It's OK!

--No, I I I, I want to tell you, I love you...

She opened her eyes loudly,

--I love you? Oh, I love you too... I can't say it for a long time, because you always have beautiful girlfriends.

--I love you Mellissa.

And then we kissed,

At last, I had found true love, and this is my ending of this story.

But it's not the ending for me, It's the start of my life.

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